It's meaningless without you
by Semei-yuukei
Summary: Makoto has been surpressing his hormonal urges towards Haruka for as long as he can remember. When Nagisa decides on a group slumber party and they are forced to share a bed together, however, how will Makoto handle an entire night with the guy he has the hots for?


A/N: Using MakoHaru to practice my writing again because I am horribly out of practice *sobs* I think it didn't go very well though since the story is quite short and pretty choppy towards the ending, but oh well. Lately everything I write turns out like crud (you would not believe the number of abandoned fanfics littered about my house) so I'm going to leave my crappy stories here till I get my stride back. Any comments/criticism to help is very much appreciated!

As soon as Nagisa started clamouring for a group slumber party, Makoto knew he was screwed.

Unknown to his friends, Makoto had several reservations about the sleepover. For one, none of their homes had enough spare beds to house them all for the night. When they'd pooled all their spare cash it wasn't enough to book a room in the cheapest hotel in town, and Miss Amakata had refused to give them funds to host a sleepover. The best they could manage was Haru's place, which had a bed and two spare mattresses.

Secondly, after deciding upon that, the four of them had drawn lots to decide which two would get to share the bed. Packing two beefed-up swimmers on Haru's narrow single bed was a decidedly uncomfortable idea, Makoto had thought. He was almost starting to pity the unlucky two that got picked.

Thirdly-and most importantly- the two who lucked out were Haru… and himself.

_This can't be happening_, Makoto groaned inwardly as the four of them fumbled about Haru's house, getting ready to turn in for the night. He'd just barely escaped from blurting out his feelings to his best friend after that huge storm at their training camp. And now, here he was, preparing himself to sleep with Haru. Figures.

"Mako-chan, are you done yet? You're taking so long to turn in!" complained Nagisa, sliding himself onto his mattress. Beside him, Rei was patting down his pillows and arranging his blankets, pausing every now and then to survey his work with a critical eye- just as if he was trying to figure out which layout would make him look most beautiful while he slept. It probably wouldn't matter though, since the fact that the two of them had elected to sleep in the hall wasn't exactly glamorous to begin with.

Makoto shot a quick glance towards Haru's room. Through the open door, he could see his friend all tucked in for bed, his sapphire gaze pinned on him.

_Help_, he thought weakly.

"Umm, are you sure sharing a bed is really such a good idea?" he ventured. "I mean, Haru's bed isn't very big, and we're not exactly small sized…" His eyes flickered desperately toward the sofa. Ordinarily it wouldn't have made his 'Top ten most desired places to sleep' list, but he couldn't afford to be in such close proximity to Haru all night or he'd start getting…urges.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine," Nagisa replied- a little too merrily, Makoto thought- before drawing up his covers.

"But"- Makoto started to protest, but the blonde simply gave him a final 'shush' and switched off the small night light by him, enveloping the house in total darkness.

After crashing into a potted plant and nearly taking an unplanned swim in Haru's bathtub, Makoto decided it probably would have been better if he'd got into bed without complaints.

_It's okay. You can do this_, he told himself as he slid into the small space beside Haru. The black headed boy grunted a little as he rolled aside to make space for his friend, and then drew up the covers when they were both safely tucked into bed. Soon the only sound Makoto heard was the gentle snoring from Nagisa in the hall.

Oh god. What was he doing here?

It wasn't exactly helping him to feel Haru's gentle breath against his neck whenever he exhaled.

He wondered if Haru slept shirtless. He couldn't exactly see in the dark, but maybe if he shifted around a bit…

His hand brushed against something soft. _Haru's stomach_, Makoto realised, and he couldn't suppress the sudden desire that flashed through him.

Hesitantly, Makoto lifted a hand and waved it in front of Haru's eyes. No response. He was probably asleep. Makoto knew that Haru had never fallen asleep that quickly as a child, but maybe that had changed with age.

_Well_, Makoto thought guiltily, _even if I were to start anything, Haru would never know._

He knew it wasn't right, but he couldn't hold himself in. any longer. The feel of Haru's body against his was the final straw. Makoto's control snapped.

_I'll make it quick_, he decided. Gathering up his courage, he leaned over Haru, ever so slowly, shivering with anticipation as he thought of the moment of contact-

"What are you doing?"

Makoto's eyes flew open. Directly in front of him, his friend was gazing at him questioningly, a curious expression in his blue eyes.

Oh, shit.

"Umm, nothing," Makoto lied, hastily retreating back to his side of the bed. "I was just, umm, checking to see if you had any dust on your face…"

Across the bed, Haru was gazing unblinkingly at his friend, silently observing his flustered countenance. He didn't say anything, but it was obvious by the look on his face that he wasn't fooled.

Silence fell. For once, Makoto couldn't decipher the disconcerting expression on Haruka's face, which unnerved him. He'd been so used to reading his friend's mind that being in the dark made him a little uncomfortable. _Stupid, stupid_, he chastised himself. _Haru isn't an idiot. He's probably figured it out by now._

"Were you trying to kiss me?" Haru asked.

Makoto blanched.

"Of course not!" he protested, perhaps a little too loudly. His voice rang out in the silence of the night. Through Haru's bedroom door, he could faintly hear Nagisa's muttered "Keep it down in there, you two", which quickly elapsed into snoring again.

More awkward silence fell. Though it was dark, Makoto was acutely aware of Haru's contemplative gaze fixed on him, as if he was trying to decide whether it would be wise to continue with his next statement or not.

Finally, he replied, "You like me, don't you?"

There was a note of uncertainty in his voice, as if he wasn't quite sure if he'd hit on the truth or not.

"You… you could tell?" Makoto exclaimed in dismay. He thought he'd covered it up well, but Haru had announced it as if he was merely saying he ate mackerel for breakfast or that he wanted to go to a pool- something that was so obvious that it didn't even need stating.

"Rei told me."

"_Rei _told you?"

"Well, Nagisa told him first. Before he told Kou and Miss Amakata."

"So the entire swim club knew about it?" Makoto said helplessly.

Haru nodded.

Makoto sighed, flopping back despondently onto his side of the bed. So much for his plans to keep his love for his best friend secret. Now Haru knew about it- as well as the rest of the entire world. The truth he'd so carefully tried to keep hidden was exposed without him even realising it. Would Haru still want to be his friend, even after he'd confirmed his crush on him with his own lips? What if he decided to cast him away? He didn't think he could stand that. The black-haired boy was like air and water to him- his very life. If Haru got scared off by him and wanted him out and gone for good… he'd respect that, of course, but it would break his heart.

"Haru? Even though you know it's really true now, can we still be friends?" he asked.

He didn't get a reply.

"Haru?" he repeated, wistfully.

Again, there was no answer. With a small sigh, Makoto rose from the bed, shaking off the covers. Heavily, he rested his feet on the floor, preparing to get up. Haru had given him a pretty clear signal, he thought, and he would honour his friend's decision. He'd better leave now, before he scared Haru further. A single tear slid past his cheek, but he roughly wiped it away with the back of his hand.

He understood now. He was never meant to have Haru. Perhaps they were never even fated to meet in the first place. He'd leave while he still could, before he drove his friend even further away from him.

As he got up from the bed, however, a small voice came from the bed.

"Where are you going?" asked Haru.

"I'm going somewhere where I won't bother you anymore," Makoto replied, bitterly. "It's okay. I know you won't like me anymore after this. I understand. I'm not going to burden you with me and my feelings anymore…it's useless anyway, because I know you're not going to love me back in return." He smiled weakly, and another tear fell to the floor. "You always wanted to be free, remember? It's impossible for you if I'm here, always clinging on to you. So I'm going to set you free." With that, he roughly brushed a hand over the tears that were now streaming down his face and bolted for the door.

As he reached it and was about to turn the handle, a hand gripped tightly onto his. It yanked him back to face the boy behind him, and before Makoto knew what was happening, his lips crashed against Haru's.

Time stopped.

Haru's hand gripped on tighter, while Mako's reached up to cup his face. For the moment, they were suspended in time- their bodies melding perfectly with each other's as they met each other passion for passion, and love for love.

Finally, Makoto tore himself away from the spell of Haru's lips. He looked happy, but there was confusion written in his face. "Wait- I thought you didn't want me in your life anymore," he said.

"I _do_," Haru insisted, gazing up into Makoto's eyes. "You just didn't give me a chance to explain. You're important to me, Makoto. You forgot that, so I'm reminding you. When I'm with you, I _am _free. If you were to leave, I don't know what I'd do with my life. It's…" he broke off, looking down at the floor. "It's meaningless without you."

_It's meaningless without you. _Exactly what he'd told Haru on the day of that fateful storm at sea.

"I love you, Makoto," Haru concluded, willing him to understand this with his eyes. With a small laugh, Makoto wiped the last of his tears from his eyes and rested his forehead against Haru's.

"I love you too."


End file.
